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THE END

 I think we have to accept endings;

the end of a party,the end of friendships, the end of a journey, the end of the things we desire. These endings are like small deaths that come to the details of our lives, a prelude to the great death that will eventually end our entire lives.

I have always told my daughter that everything has an end, that the holidays will eventually end and we have to go back to work, and that we need to come to an internal acceptance of this. I have said this very firmly, reasonably, and with confidence.But...

But I must admit that it is much harder to truly believe these things than to say or write them. Why do some things end that should not end? Why is the ending of some things and some situations so painful?

And why can't these small deaths prepare us for that big one? And why...Writing these things will also end and will leave a memory of me in some way.

I hope my handwriting will be as effective as a beautiful sentence, a passionate speech, like any beautiful speech. Please do not consider my writings to be a measure of how much I have done right and how much I have understood about life. No, these were just a reminder to myself."The real acceptance of endings, the end of the day, the end of the journey, the end of friendships, the end of vacations, the end of joy, the end of darkness, is too difficult to claim. I have no claim. I'm just thinking out loud and trying to savor the great death, that real ending, little by little, that's all."

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